When the holiday season rolls around, most of us get excited for the joy the season brings as we think about celebrating with family and friends, church and social activities, shopping, decorating or listening to Christmas music. For most of us, there are so many things to look forward to even in the midst of a busier schedule. But for many, it is not a season of joy and excitement. Many face situations, trauma and difficult emotions in their daily lives that only become amplified during the holiday season.
Here are a few practical strategies to help navigate the holiday season in a healthy way:
Identify your triggers and have a plan
Recognize people, places and activities that might trigger an anxious response. Have a plan in place ahead of time as much as possible. For example, knowing a particular place brings up traumatic memories, have breathing exercises or a ‘walk away’ plan ready to go, if needed. Or, give yourself a specified time limit at a holiday party or a shopping center, and then leave.
Have realistic expectations on yourself
There are no set ‘rules’ of things that have to be completed or added to your schedule. It is totally up to you. For example, limit the amount of decorations you put up around your house, or have a realistic goal of events that you are able to attend (ex. 1-2 parties or functions and no more)
When feelings arise that cause anxiety or depression, be ok with those feelings and use strategies to help you deal with them appropriately (prayer, breathing exercise; creating a routine; calling on your support system).
Allow yourself to sit with your emotions. Give yourself a set time to reflect, think about and feel any emotions that the holiday season brings up for you. Then move on to positive replacement thoughts or activities.
Practice The Three W’s
Wins: Celebrate the wins of that day. What did you accomplish or overcome that day? You were successful in cooking a meal. You went for a brisk walk to calm your anxiety. You chose a positive activity such as baking cookies or watching a light-hearted movie instead of dwelling on negative thoughts. Then, record those wins at the end of the day.
Wishes: At the end of the day, ask yourself: What do I want tomorrow to look like? What kind of a day would I like to have? What is my hope for the next day? Write it down. Getting your mind into a proper space will help guide your rest that night and prepare you for a positive attitude the next day.
Whats: What are you grateful for from that day? You are grateful you were able to connect with a family member by phone. You were warm and cozy in your home that day. You had a special Christmas treat to enjoy. Think of even the smallest thing that you are grateful for and record it, as well.
As a former runner, I used to dread running uphill because it was obviously much harder than running on flat ground. I learned to only focus on the three feet in front of me because the road looked flat. Before I knew it, I would be at the top. Instead of just trying to ‘get through the holidays,’ focus on the day or task in front you and tackle that one step at a time. Having your emotional toolbox filled with practical strategies will help you find success at this stressful time of year.
One final and important thought is from 1 Peter 5:7 which says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Remember that you are not alone and deeply loved.
About the Author
Penny Ducharme, MA, LPC
Encompass Therapist
Penny Ducharme, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor with 10+ years of experience lay counseling in a church setting. She also has an education degree and is a certified life coach. She earned her master's degree in counseling at Asbury Theological Seminary. Penny currently sees clients in Richland County, OH.
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