Strengthening Family Connections During the Summer

When the final bell rings for summer break, kids everywhere rejoice at the idea of sleeping in and endless summer fun, while parents everywhere often scramble to find just the right camp, activity, or vacation to ensure a fun and memorable three months. Summer break brings sunshine and longer days, but also sometimes a sense of stress and pressure for parents. The school year routine disappears, kids are home more, and there’s often the quiet expectation that summer should feel special. At the same time, more time together doesn’t always mean more connection. For a lot of families, it can mean more conflict, more stress, and more moments where everyone feels a little off. If you’re feeling that tension, you’re joined by a whole host of parents and caregivers also wondering how to make their child/ren’s summer meaningful and memorable. 

The encouraging news is that connection doesn’t come from having the perfect summer. It’s built in small, consistent moments where kids feel seen, safe, and understood.

Here are a few practical ways to support your family’s connection this summer.

Focus On Intentional Time, Not Just More Time

It’s easy to assume that more time together automatically leads to better connection. In reality, unstructured time can sometimes lead to more frustration, especially when expectations are unclear. Instead of throwing structure to the wind or trying to schedule out every moment, aim for small pockets of intentional, focused time. 

• Set aside 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time with each child

• Let your child choose the activity you do together

• Put your phone or other distractions away to stay present

  
  

Intentional time doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. It matters most that your child feels like you are fully present with them, not just near them. Additionally, gentle structure and predictability help reduce power struggles and increase a child’s sense of security. Consider creating predictable anchor times in your day around things like consistent bedtimes, mealtimes, and morning routines, all of which can become focused or intentional time together. 

Expect Dysregulation (and Normalize It)

Summer changes routines, and that can be hard on both kids and their caregivers. You might be noticing more irritability, increased sibling conflict, difficulty with transitions, and even regression in behaviors. These aren’t a sign that something is wrong, but they are indicators that your child’s nervous system is adjusting. When possible, try responding with curiosity:

• “You’re having a hard time right now.”

• “I wonder if your body needs a break”

• “That felt frustrating to you.” 

  
  

Validation doesn’t mean you agree with the behavior, but it does help your child feel understood, which is what allows regulation to return. By expecting and preparing for dysregulation, you’re more likely to have a plan and be better regulated yourself - a fierce combination in the face of dysregulation!

Prioritize Connection Before Correction

When behavior challenges arise (and they will), it’s tempting to move quickly into discipline or problem-solving. Before correcting, try to slow down:

• Get at their level

• Use a calm, regulated tone

• Acknowledge the feeling underneath their behavior (ex: “That didn’t go the way you wanted,” or “You were really upset when that happened.”). 

This doesn’t mean you ignore the behavior. It just means you lead with connection, so the correction actually lands.

Connection is what makes correction effective.

Once your child feels understood, they are much more likely to listen, cooperate, and repair.

Repair can be simple:

• “I’m sorry I yelled earlier. That wasn’t how I want to handle things.” 

• “I was frustrated, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Moments of repair help kids learn that relationships can handle mistakes and still be safe. Connecting before and during correction will help children not only learn healthy relationship skills, but also helps to actually change the unwanted behaviors.

Let Go of the Pressure to Have the Perfect Summer

Many parents carry an unspoken expectation that summers should be magical and full of trips, activities, and constant fun. It’s easy to compare our summer plans to others’ highlight reels and forget to prioritize fostering healthy family connection. The reality is that building meaningful connections happens in the ordinary moments of talking in the car, making dinner side by side, sitting together at the pool, or laughing together. Kids don’t need a perfect summer. They need a present, responsive caregiver.

Summer is an opportunity to strengthen connection, but not because everything slows down or becomes easy. When routines and rhythms are disrupted, parents and caregivers have an opening to fill in the gaps with connection. Connection happens in small moments. It happens when you stay present. And it happens when you come back together after things go off track.

If this summer feels harder than you expected, that does not mean that you’re doing it wrong. It may just mean that your family is figuring out a new rhythm. Releasing yourself from the pressure to create an idealized version of summer will give you permission to find joy and connection in the big and small moments of summer. And that’s where the real memories are made. 

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About the Author

Jennifer Maurer

Jennifer Maurer, M.A. Ed, LPCC

School-Based Therapist

Jennifer holds a Master's Degree in Education in Clinical Mental Health from Malone University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). She has been trained in Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI), TBRI Classroom, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and Sand Tray Therapy. She has experience treating matters such as adjustment disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, church/religious trauma, attachment difficulties, racial trauma, children and adult adoptees, and adoptive parents and families. Jennifer enjoys providing therapy from a holistic, strengths-based, trauma-informed perspective for clients of various ages and from a variety of backgrounds.